We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
