We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
