You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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