Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
