I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
