dude i'm inner monologue high
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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