so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize