just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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