he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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