my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
