i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
