we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
