Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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