I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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