Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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