I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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