But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
