He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
