Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
