When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
