im six kinds of drunk right now
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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