Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize