Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
