you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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