So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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