This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
