he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
