I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
