As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
