Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize