I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
