Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
