ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
