I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He better not be in your backpack
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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