he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
