i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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