I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have aggressive nipples.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
