He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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