She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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