Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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