i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
