Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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