Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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