You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
