I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
