his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize