i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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