final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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