I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize