please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
