just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I want to walk on stilts...naked
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
