My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
