mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
