Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
