first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
