sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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