Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
