She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have feelings that need drinking.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
