so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
