I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
